MY JOURNEY BACK TO HAPPY

DAY 2 – BUSY

Sometimes, this is how I cope.  Purposely flooding my day with things to do.  Back to back meetings.  Reports.  Proposals.  Task after task.  Crisis upon crisis.  Hoping that the work continuum would keep my mind too occupied to think about my heart.  Fearful that any void in my schedule leaves room for thoughts of Daddy to creep into my day.  Counting on the resulting exhaustion of my brain and body to anesthetize the pain that comes from remembering.  

On a good day, my head hits the pillow, I'm out like a light, good night, mission accomplished.

But they're not all good days.  Too often, despite a punishing 12 to 14-hour work schedule, the tears come out of nowhere, and I'm like, what the heck! Hey pain, I spent this whoooole day dodging you, I busted my brains out to keep you away, you're not supposed to be here, no, no, no!!!

Busy is not fail-safe. And since it is a hit or miss, my goal now is to channel my labor to doing the things that would make Daddy proud - taking care of Mom and her needs, being a stern but compassionate boss, looking out for others so that they can have better lives.

For if busy is not a guarantee that I will not cry, then at the very least I will make sure that it will make Daddy smile.